I think I finally figured it out

Transcript

If you were around in the beginning of my retirement journey, you heard me say a bunch of times that I'm not going back to work until I can answer the question, why do I want to go back to work? Because I was convinced that the only reason I wanted to go back to work was because work was what gave me meaning. And I thought, that's probably not a very healthy way to live your life, to derive all of your value and meaning from just work. So it's been coming up on four years now, and I have figured some stuff out. Short version, I have zero interest in going back to work. However, what was happening was, because of how I'm wired mentally, I like to do intensive little hobby projects. And if you're like this, you'll understand immediately. So I'm going to do a lot of work. I'm going to do a lot of work. I'm going to do a lot of work. I'll be into like projects on a Raspberry Pi, and I will do everything you can do on a Raspberry Pi for like three weeks. And I'll buy a bunch of stuff, and I'll read a bunch of stuff, and I'll try all these things, and then I will just completely lose interest. Now, I might get interest back a year or two later, but I just go on to another thing. And I realized it's just like how I was when I was a kid. When I was a kid, I was like a little inventor. I just wanted to explore. I wanted to explore the woods. I wanted to explore the creeks. I wanted to explore electricity. I wanted to explore magnetism. Like, I was just fascinated by everything. And I'm not saying that some kind of weird, humble brag. I'm just telling it like it is. Like, my dad and mom bought me an open junior scientist experiment kit or something like that. They got it all the way from the beginning. And I was like, I'm going to do this. And I got it on sale because someone had returned it. And it had most everything in it, but it didn't have the instructions. So it was like a whole bunch of really cool stuff, but I didn't know how any of it worked. And fortunately, my dad was a very scientific person. So he was able to help me figure out how to use most of the elements in the kit. But I mean, I tore through that thing. I just really like exploring. And what I've realized is I don't want to go back to work. I want to explore and invent and create and make. And it's not because I feel like that's what gives me value. Because when I was a little kid, I didn't know anything about value. I'm just curious. And I like to take my curiosity and convert it into something tangible. So where does that leave me? Well, it means that instead of trying to fight the urge to go back to work, I'm going to try to go back to work. I just need to acknowledge I'm not going back to work, but I am going to do a bunch of projects. And I am going to continue to make and invent and try things and all the stuff that I loved doing when I was a little kid. Except now, I don't have to worry about school. I don't have to worry about work. And I can just do it. And I got to tell you, for those of you wired the way I'm wired, and if you're younger, if you ever needed a reason to endure, capitalism, it's a pretty good one. Because if you can get through it and get to the end and retire, you get to be the person you always wanted to be, at least for a little while. So I think the final answer to my, not the final answer, but today's answer to my journey of retirement is, I haven't been wanting to get back to work. I've been wanting to do the things that work allowed me to do. Which is explore and try things and experiment. And I don't need work to do that. I can just do it now. Enjoy your retirement.