Decoupled retirement - The Rubber Band Effect

Transcript

If you're retired and your partner isn't, you're living what I call a decoupled retirement. I'm not in love with the name. If you have a better one, tell me. I'll steal it, and I will not give you credit, because I'm a monster. But a decoupled retirement is simply one of you is retired and the other isn't. What you can run into in a decoupled retirement is what I call the rubber band effect. When you go off and do something that a retired person can do, but your spouse can't because they're still working. While you're doing that thing, it's initially fun, but soon you start feeling the rubber band pulling you back towards home. So, for example, when I get really bummed out by the crappy weather here in Ohio, I'll go to a sunny area. And for the first day or two, it's great. But then I start feeling that pull back towards Amy and the dogs, and to a much lesser degree, my cat. There's a few days where it's really fun, like what it must be like. I have retired couples who do things together. And then you start feeling that pull, and then it gets stronger and stronger, and then pretty soon, it's not even fun anymore. That's because you're being pulled back to the person that you care about. And if you're going to retire in a decoupled way, just keep in mind, there's not a bad guy in that situation. I don't blame Amy for wanting to work. She loves her job, and she's going to keep doing it until she doesn't love it anymore. And that's cool. I say that her job is her hobby. She doesn't have to work, but she likes to work. So I do things that I enjoy, and she doesn't get on my back about it. I'm not going to get on her back about doing what she enjoys. But you have to figure out how to process all of the stuff that goes into experiencing the rubber band effect.