Replying to a commenter

Transcript

If someone's struggling with the concept of getting comfortable not needing a purpose, I think this suggestion is ideal. So, Air Leaf Joe says, if someone's struggling with the idea of not having to have a purpose, maybe being kind to other people would be a good purpose. I think that's a great idea. It sort of lets people have a bridge between questioning whether or not they really need a purpose and finding the underlying reasons why they think they need a purpose. But in the meantime, it gives them something to feel like they have a purpose about so they don't become sad and anxious and whatnot, feeling like something's amiss. It brings up a really good point, though, and that is one of the most frequent comments that I get is, I would go nuts. Nuts. If I didn't stay busy. So, I went and got a job. Or, I was going nuts by not being busy, so I started volunteering. And what I would ask people to do is, after that first statement, pause. Don't make the second piece a foregone conclusion. So, I would go nuts if I wasn't busy. Pause. Why? Why would I go nuts if I wasn't busy? Don't jump right to that foregone conclusion that, therefore, I need to go right back to what I was doing before I retired and basically, as I say, enter the second phase of your work life. Don't make retirement the second phase of your work life without first at least investigating whether or not your programming is getting in your way. So, say to yourself, in the case of needing a purpose, to Errol Leif-Joe's point, I feel like I would be adrift and aimless without a purpose. Don't jump to the foregone conclusion. Don't say, therefore, I have to volunteer, or therefore, I have to whatever. Pause there and say, why would I feel adrift if I didn't feel like I had a purpose? Put that gap in there and ask the question before you do that. Pause. Just jump to the next thing. That's what I did when I retired. I told Amy, I'm not going to reenter the workforce by default. I'm not going to go get a job just because I'm going stir crazy. I'm going to figure out why can't I be comfortable just being still. And once I figure that out, if I still feel like I want to go get a job, which is becoming increasingly unlikely with every month, then I will. But I'm not going to go get a job. I'm going to go get a job just to quiet the voices, or just because I feel like I need to be a useful tool to someone else. So for anyone who's struggling with these concepts, I need purpose. I need to stay busy. I need to be productive. I need to be contributing. Just hold off before you get to the therefore. And do some of that inner work and say, why is that? Why do I feel that way? Why do I feel that I need to do that? You may come to the conclusion that you're just a person who needs to work right up to the end. And that's okay. But at least you looked at it openly and you made the decision consciously.